At this age I should normally already have a couple of kids who grew up with cuteness and innocence on their own. But what shall I do about it?, to get a girlfriend is still very difficult indeed for me. Somehow I still have difficulties to just get acquainted with a girl. Perhaps because I have a “dark” visible on my face. It’s because I haven’t considered myself as one of the lucky people in the world as well. It is subsequently manifest in my attitudes and the way I interact with others. Especially with my opposite sex, this made me as people in despair. Furthermore, I have a bipolar disorder indeed.
“People in Despair” was actually one of the subjects on Viktor Emil Frankl’s Logoteraphy. Logoteraphy itself, apart as a psychological system, could also be a way of life and method to assessing or addressing life. Viktor E. Frankl was a survivor of four places German Nazi concentration camps for the Jews during the Second World War at about nineteen forties decade.
In this practical theory, when someone is facing a problem, often they was in despair conditions. He or she did not know how to cope with life’s problems. Furthermore, she or he will experience the “existential vacuum” or felt an emptiness in life. In this existential vacuum conditions, often she or he experienced “noogenic neurotic”, a cluster of conditions such as those who suffer from neurosis or mental illness.
But “noogenic neurotic” conditions in Logoteraphy study is indeed different from the neurotic conditions in the psychiatry’s subjects in general. On Logoteraphy, noogenic neurotic is a phase when people start looking or inventory values in life and start searching for meaning in his or her life personally as an individual who is alive and dynamic.
The most important and crucial step to find meaning in life is, when the person trying to transcend themselves “out” of him or her. Or get out of their problems and begin to think about things or people outside himself or herself.
That’s what I’m probably trying to do at the moment. Starting and rediscover the fun of writing. Apart from the problems I had, indeed, I have difficulties in life. But, I think I’m not alone. Apparently there are many good people out there.
I remember at mBah Mirin who often share yams or some kind of tubers for dinner with me. They are my neighbor when I still live in Blitar, a little country town on East Java Province. I know mBah Mirin family was a shortage. I’d rarely seen him and Bude Karminah, his wife, consumpted rice. Limited rice and side dishes had reserved for their beloved children.
I also thought of my friends on the Student Center UGM I’ve met a few weeks ago in Yogyakarta. They helped me think about my predicament and seek odd jobs I could do for subsistence in Yogyakarta. Yes, that’s right thought, it turns out that I’m not alone. I’m not a people in despair anymore.